You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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