All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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