Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.

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(574): View more from Indiana

he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.

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(949): View more from California

At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?

(714): View more from California

I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.

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(416): View more from Toronto

looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.

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(206): View more from Washington

My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete

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