Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  I've always been the spiritual type.

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  (702): When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion. (1-702): I've always been the spiritual type. http://tfl.nu/v0oc
  Replies (27) Good night (7742) Bad night (888)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.

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  (917): Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date. http://tfl.nu/r3cq
  Replies (17) Good night (804) Bad night (6574)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.

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  (608): I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here. http://tfl.nu/1bbr
  Replies (17) Good night (1206) Bad night (2831)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.

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  (757): he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree. http://tfl.nu/5ajs
  Replies (4) Good night (3265) Bad night (893)
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  (909): View more from California

  At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains

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  (909): At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains http://tfl.nu/rchm
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (2341)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you

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  (215): i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you http://tfl.nu/4yxe
  Replies (35) Good night (9383) Bad night (1872)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.

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  (515): We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office. http://tfl.nu/036z
  Replies (3) Good night (2257) Bad night (977)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.

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  (832): Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome. http://tfl.nu/loiz
  Replies (5) Good night (2635) Bad night (599)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover

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  (303): I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover http://tfl.nu/1e3z
  Replies (9) Good night (1313) Bad night (534)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.

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  (989): This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor. http://tfl.nu/gqo3
  Replies (1) Good night (481) Bad night (1040)
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  (925): View more from California

  Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.

  (650): View more from California

  Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.

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  (925): Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to. (650): Its a good thing to know for upcoming events. http://tfl.nu/a1ga
  Replies (4) Good night (676) Bad night (351)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.

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  (630): like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant. http://tfl.nu/ihww
  Replies (7) Good night (400) Bad night (834)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.

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  (248): Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you. http://tfl.nu/e3a4
  Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (718)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face

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  (210): It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face http://tfl.nu/lp55
  Replies (0) Good night (627) Bad night (350)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now

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  (407): I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now http://tfl.nu/9el0
  Replies (4) Good night (230) Bad night (516)

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