I got chris browned last night
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
my being single is dangerous.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.