in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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