Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea