what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
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I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize