So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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