A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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