I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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