in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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