At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
