i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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