And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
