home. puking in laundry basket.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
