I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
