I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
