I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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