pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
