Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
