I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize