but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
