CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
