Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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