There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Houston, we have a blender
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
