Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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