That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
