go do what you do best...puke behind churches
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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