The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
