period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
