Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize