The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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