i don't plan on having that self control this summer
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
