she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
