Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
