we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
