Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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