The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
