i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
