hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
