I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
