then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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