i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
