So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
