is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
