going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
