I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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