he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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