Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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