this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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