And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
bring money and cleavage
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
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What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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