Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
