Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
