she looked like the before picture.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
