I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
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She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
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I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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