My nipple is on Facebook.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
