he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
