At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
