My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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