seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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