went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
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you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
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Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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