I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
