Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
